Tuesday, March 4, 2008

I thought I raised them better....

I believe that Wal-Mart is a necessary evil to a fallen world. In fact, the word loathe only begins to describe the anamocity I feel toward the retailer who does today what they try to do everyday ("...take over the world!" for those of you deprived of an Animaniacs education). So, I had to muster up all the strength I had within me to try to take on the void of Wal-Mart with TWO toddlers in tow and NO reinforcements, only to discover what I always discover....they don't have what I came to buy. In fact, the conversation went just like this:

Me: (dragging my toddlers with hands touching EVERYTHING in sight) Please stay clear of the two stockers in the aisle, guys. There isn't much room for us to squeeze by.
Stocker: (oblivious to the world around her, not only doesn't move, but also refuses to make eye contact in the event I actually have a question)
Me: Excuse me, but I can't seem to find what I came here to buy. I am looking for some toilet targets to help with my potty-training toddler. Where could I find them?
Stocker: (obviously does not have kids, because there was no angst, remorse, or pity in her eyes that I am AGAIN trying to potty train my son. eyes roll across her face to take her attention off of her ever important work) We do not carry those. (quickly, she turns back to the pressing work in front of her of stacking the 100th package of diapers into the rack)
Me: Okay, guys. They don't have the only thing that we drove thirty minutes to buy. Maybe we can find some stickers to bribe you with. Follow me, please. (using every form of personal restraint I have not to go off on this emotionally-void woman. it really wasn't her fault that the largest retailer in the WORLD NEVER carries what I need!!!!!!)
Checker: (as we walk up to the register with severely over-price stickers) Did you find everything you were looking for?
Me: (trying unsuccessfully to keep all octopus limbs in the cart) No, actually I didn't.
Checker: (shocked by an actual answer)Oh...well...um...your total will be $8.15.
Me: For stickers?
Checker: Yes, ma'am. (hoping that I would just pay and leave already) Thank you and have a great day.
Me: Thanks, but it would be a better day if I had toilet targets. (muttering under my breath as I hearded my two toddlers toward the parking lot)

So, imagine my disdane when my son (bless his little heart) states on the way out, "Mommy...that's Waw-Mart. I wuv Waw-Mart, Mommy. I just wuv it." There was no time to waste in informing him of the blood-sucking nature of Wal-Mart. There was no reasoning to him that Wal-Mart might actually look similar to hell...long aisles of crap that you don't need at prices that are slightly cut to make them look like a deal, but is still $8.15 that would make more money at 12% interest in an IRA. He simply has bought into the incredible marketing scheme of falling prices and coming out most times with the next toy that will bring his life meaning and happiness. I really thought that I raised my children better. I suppose there is still time.
"The thief has come to steal, kill, and destroy, but I have come to give them life..." John 10:10

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Walmart in EngleHOOD certainly resembles hell...don't visit the one by my office!!
-Kari

Anonymous said...

Haha, Kendra you crack me up! I agree you have to muster up every ounce of strength you have to enter a Wal-Mart, especially with kids in tow!!!!