Dear Mom,
I'd like to take a minute to apologize for all of the time and money that was WASTED at the doctor's office. We all know that no one gets in and out quickly of the black hole occupying the doctor's office. And, for some unresearched reason, there are healing properties that children experience by simply walking through the door (someone should investigate that more).
On my last wasted trip, I got the same remark...."You are doing a fine job as a mother, but there is simply nothing trivially wrong with your child" like it was an inconvenience to take my $30 co-pay (and don't even get me started on my health insurance rant....what a racket!). Maybe there should be a place to sight that as a reason of neglect to social services.
So, again, I apologize for all of the times that we cried and whinned that we were truly sick.....and not. I am sorry that you spent years of your life that you can never have back waiting for incompetent nurses and rude doctors to tell you what we should have....that you are a great mother with mildly sick children. I really regret that you wasted all of that money that should have gone into an investment account to make us both weathier. Thank you for carrying good health insurance and getting to the bottom of wierd rashes and mild fevers and wierd phantom stomach pains. You really are a good mom.
With Love,
Your Favorite (and Apologetic) Daughter
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