Death of a Vision

I realized something again this week. I love the feeling of realizing something that you've known all along, but it feels like it has new meaning. It is like hearing a joke for the twentieth time, only to realize that it means something different in adulthood than it did as a kid....and it's even funnier now.

I realize now as an adult that our visions of what we want and what we think is best must die. They must come to an end one way or another. These visions that we spend hours daydreaming about or delicately planning must either come to fruition or die. I used to think that when visions for our lives or futures died it was sad or tragic even. I now realize that, in the end, it doesn't matter how the vision ends...it really leads to the same place. For the death of a vision really births a new beginning. It causes you to come to a place where you dare to dream of what is really possible in life. We allow God to place new desires on our hearts and lead us places that we never thought of going.

Sometimes, we look forward to visions dying. My family has gone through a tremendous trial and legal battle that finally turned a closing page. What a blessing and burden to leave behind by saying goodbye to a chapter that none of us asked for. We are so thankful that God answered our prayers and let that chapter die. We can't wait to see the possibilities that unfold from that.

Other visions are sad to let go of. Nathan's baseball team lost in regionals last week. It was a tragic end to a stellar season. And, though it is nice to dream of him being home a little more in the evenings, it is sad to walk away from the season that he loved. I am so proud of the progress that he made with the boys that he worked with and the committment to growing their character that he and the head coach have.

But, when God says in Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart" He means that He will give us our desires, not that He will fulill the desires that we have for ourselves. I can't wait to see what fun things He has ahead for us. His plans are always bigger than I can dream for myself. It reminds me to teach my kids to dream big and have big faith!