Your $'s at Work....or Mom and Dad's

Thought that I would post a picture here of my marketing degree at work (Mom, I didn't want you thinking that my college education was going to waste). Elliot's announcements, after much effort and learning of a new program, are finally finished. I am working on getting them printed and sent out this week. The design and pictures are both done by yours truly. Enjoy!

Know-It-All Children

Dear Mom,

I am dreadfully sorry for all of the times that I insisted that my knowledge surpassed that of your aged wisdom. I realize now how young and stupid I really was. I think that I always expected this day to arrive, however I hoped to make it at least to my son's third birthday before reaching the monumental cairn of life called "Mom is now stupid and knows how to do nothing in this world."

Today, my beautiful son realized that, at the ripe age of three, he KNEW how to get something open that my frail, female, 26 year old brain just would not be able to figure out. It is beyond the streets of shivelry, past the point of politeness, and reached a turn down the overlook to outrageous and demeaning. For goodness sake, I am the one who is still trying to convince his little brain that pottying in the pot is a good idea, and now HE is telling ME how the world works. It just is not reasonable.

However, in the haze of the madness of the situation, it occured to me that it was not that long ago that I recall pulling the same prank on you. How often the pain and frustration of life might have passed me by had I only listened and heeded your advice....especially on the mundane, "Don't touch that; it's hot" warning. If only I really heard the urgency of your heed to stop what I was doing BEFORE someone poked an eye out. Had I only translated that tone in your voice properly before exiting the house after the exasperated, "Are you really wearing THAT outfit tonight?" Oh, the wisdom you gave and I left it on the doorstep like yesterday's newspaper.

So, I truly am sorry for not listening to your advice. I realize that you really DID know what you were talking about, that your years of learning the hard way gave you some really great tips, and I did store them away in the back of my mind. I plan to spend some good time unpacking those boxes and organizing them into useful ways to practice what you preached.

With Love,
Your Favorite Daughter

Be careful to obey all these regulations I am giving you, so that it may always go well with you and your children after you, because you will be doing what is good and right in the eyes of the LORD your God. Deuteronomy 12:28

What Lies Beneath........Worse than Forcasted

So, I have received a few concerned comments about the previously mentioned rodent problem. I am now here to set your mind at ease and assure you that it truly is worse than we first thought. Let me explain....

You see, I mentioned before that this is not a new problem in our house. We have expelled enough mice in the last four months or so that I simply lost count of the unwelcome invaders. I am determined that this is far beyond living near an empty field. This is far beyond a small nuisance that requires a walk to the hardware store two blocks from home to invest five dollars in some traps. This is war!

Thursday afternoon was my breaking point. I resolved to cleanse my living room area of all evidence of the mice. Nathan helped me remove all furniture from the living room and witnessed the fact that the mice crossed the wrong girl this time. There were droppings all over the carpet underneath our furniture. I can't tell you how many toys I threw away or cleaned due to the mass contamination. It was, in essence, worse than we thought.

As if that were not enough, while we were away for the weekend, Megan was forced out of the house after coming home to two dead mice in traps downstairs and being greeted by a third trying to take in the movie she was watching upstairs (I would have reached my limit, too, and slept somewhere else). Needless to say, Megan and her fiancee removed five dead mice from the traps this weekend.

The glimmer of hope comes from this: we have not found any more mice this week and, after careful and detailed exploration of the basement, we have not found any nests. But, in fair carnal truth, war is war and the damage has already been done. I've invested $70 in field artillery. The frequency pest controller is in the mail. My girlfriend (who once had a serious mouse problem herself in the neighborhood) swears by this machine for ridding your house of peace burglers and keeping out any unwanted future house guests. I am taking back the night and taking back the control and security in my life! I don't need a cat to come make my house worse. I need technology! (Okay, so I know it's getting a little deep now, and I apologize Mom for giving you hard times about mice growing up, but this is serious stuff).

I'll keep you posted on the results.

"'I will make a covenant of peace with them and rid the land of wild beasts so that they may live in the desert and sleep in the forests in safety.'" Ezekiel 34:25

The Dreaded Dr.

Dear Mom,

I'd like to take a minute to apologize for all of the time and money that was WASTED at the doctor's office. We all know that no one gets in and out quickly of the black hole occupying the doctor's office. And, for some unresearched reason, there are healing properties that children experience by simply walking through the door (someone should investigate that more).

On my last wasted trip, I got the same remark...."You are doing a fine job as a mother, but there is simply nothing trivially wrong with your child" like it was an inconvenience to take my $30 co-pay (and don't even get me started on my health insurance rant....what a racket!). Maybe there should be a place to sight that as a reason of neglect to social services.

So, again, I apologize for all of the times that we cried and whinned that we were truly sick.....and not. I am sorry that you spent years of your life that you can never have back waiting for incompetent nurses and rude doctors to tell you what we should have....that you are a great mother with mildly sick children. I really regret that you wasted all of that money that should have gone into an investment account to make us both weathier. Thank you for carrying good health insurance and getting to the bottom of wierd rashes and mild fevers and wierd phantom stomach pains. You really are a good mom.

With Love,
Your Favorite (and Apologetic) Daughter

Mom, I'm Sorry for Hiding Things Around the House...

I now realize how much our little scavenger hunts cost. Between Megan hiding Flinstone vitamins everywhere (and I mean everywhere....I am sure someone now owns a used piece of furniture or two that have molding Freds all stuck in it. Did she ever manage to get one down?) to us making a "secret stash" of Hershey's kisses at Grandma's house and everything in between, I now understand how messy these games tend to be.

Jonathan decided somewhere along the course of the weekend to take up the tradition. I discovered this on a day that I had just enought time to get ready and bake a loaf of banana bread before I added two more kids to my madness for the morning. Jonathan has become facinated with the stove. So, instead of putting one of his picnic-style plastic plates where it actually goes, he opted to stash it away in the oven. How unfortunate it is that I didn't check the oven BEFORE I preheated it for the bread.

It seems that the plates are microwave and dishwasher safe, but not "preheat to 350 degrees" safe. When I opened the oven to put in the loaf of bread (you know, so I could have the rare chance to eat a warm breakfast), there greeted me a puddle of now puke-green plastic decorated with strings of plate remnants dangling from both grill shelves. We immediately turned off the oven, but it was too late. Nathan managed to scrape the plastic from the bottom of the oven and clean a grill off (cutting the cooled plastic was a HUGE job). Needless to say, it took most of the day to recover from the hide-and-go-seek game.

I am so sorry that we hid things everywhere. I have learned my lesson. And, in the future, I promise to always check the oven before I turn it on.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. ~Matthew 7:7-8

Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood?

Has your day ever felt like a rerun episode of Sesame Street? All morning we ran through things like, "Open....close.....open......close." I just heard Grover in the back of my head. "One of these things is not like the other..." I know that you are running all of the songs in the back of your head, too. I had to finally turn on some grown-up music when I pulled out the, "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...(in a whisper) eleven, twelve!"

Oh, Mom. I am so sorry that you had to endure countless hours of things like the "Follow that Bird" soundtrack, Sesame Street, the Little Thinker, and books on tape that did that awful xylophone thing to signal a page turn. How did you not pull your hair out?

Yet, in the midst of the mundane, it is so fun watching my two little ones discover their little worlds. Even when that includes Going on a Bear Hunt for the twentieth time and a countless round of "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes!" it is worth it to watch them learn.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire

Mom, I am really sorry that you had to put up with us during the days that nothing seemed to go your way. I now understand how many years this took off of your life, and I hope that the laughter and stories you gained from such occasions helped to replenish your lifeline.

My full grasp of this phenomenon came yesterday. It started the same, if not better, than any other day. Nathan left for work at 8:45 a.m. on the grounds that I would see him at the church just 45 short minutes later to tie up some loose ends before our moms group met. Who knew that in such a small span of time that life could take on such chaos?

Jonathan promptly walked out the unlocked front door. When confronted on why, he simply replied, "I'm going on a walk, Mom." (direct quote) He was unimpressed with my rebuttal that we don't go on walks by ourselves, but was more taken to chase the stray kitten running around our house. When I caught him to take him inside, I was greeted by Avery the dog running out of our house to join in the cat chasing fun (she is a sucker for a good cat chase, we've found). I got both of them wrangled into the house and seriously thought in my head, "That was fun...I guess now we have our fun story for the morning." How silly of me to dream of it being over.

Naomi needed new clothes. I took her upstairs, set her on her changing table, and watched as she kicked EVERYTHING off of it. I tried to keep her on it, pick up the mess, and find her an outfit. We took her downstairs (where I could keep an eye on both kids) and literally wrestled her into her clothes, taking small breaks to clean up the spit-up and referee Jonathan. He got in trouble for playing in the dog food, leading to the next episode.

I took him to the bathroom, where he didn't have to go repeatedly. Then he got a time out in his room. This leads to the token screaming, which gave me a chance to finish changing Naomi. However, the screaming stopped. And we all know, where there is smoke, there is fire (proverbial, of course). I went into his room only to find poop everywhere. Cleaning up the mess, I should have known that it would lead to a day with seven accidents and me quitting potty training. But, I held out hope for the day.

That led to the next mishap. I started smelling something strange. And we all know, where there is smoke, there is fire....literally this time. I found Jonathan's denim hat in a metal mixing bowl on the table that reflected the sunlight at just the right angle to burn a hole in the hat! (not kidding) Who would have thought. So, the morning completed itself by me trying to pop popcorn, only to burn the first bag, make a perfect bag, empty the good bag into a Ziploc bag, and culminating with the fact that hot kernels melt through plastic bag (who would have known?) and chasing the stupid stray cat out of our garage (cat starts with "c" and kitten starts with "k"...talk amongst yourselves).

All that, and I was only ten minutes late to my group. Mom, I understand that there are just days that go this way. Unfortunately, the day continued that way. Thank you for watching the kids through the afternoon so I could finish our errands. Only a mother who had fought through not having that ability could know that was exactly what I needed. I am so glad that you could rest on a Savior whose mercies are new every morning. How great is His faithfulness. Thanks for letting us build your character a bit. I am sure that we gave you more than your share!

With Love,
Your Favorite Daughter, Kendra

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ~Lamentations 3:22-23

Dear Mom,

I had an amazing experience this week that I wanted to share with you. I like to call it a "glimpse," although others may call it a vision. I saw a scene that broke my heart for so many reasons, but nothing this week brought me more hope.

You see, Mom, I had the opportunity to share with a friend of mine the relationship that Jesus offers to anyone who believes in Him. I bucked the system. I dared to offend someone who had never read a word from a Bible or knew how long it took God to create the universe or even heard that God loved her and created her with a specific purpose in mind.

I really did it for one reason; she deserved to have hope and love in her life. She grew up in a godless world. She lived a dark existence by our standards and has a rough circumstance now. Most would write her off and just expect her to make the most of what she has left. But, it broke my heart to see her pain, to gaze into her hurting heart, and send her on her way because I was afraid that I was going to give her trite answers or that she might turn it down.

So, I did the loving thing. I shared with her that I knew the secret to a healed heart and a hope for tomorrow. I told her that she could change her family tree and roots, giving her kids a chance at something different. I told her not of empty religion and liturgy, but of empty tombs and relationship. And the funniest thing happened....she asked Jesus to come live in her heart.

Thank you. Thank you for sharing Jesus with me, praying for me, loving me, and reminding me that God is always faithful through little times and big times in our life. I am so sorry that I take that for granted too many times. I forget that other people are going to live an eternity without God, an eternity in hell because they don't have families who share that or "evangelism" is unacceptable to share the love of Christ anymore. Thank you for not being afraid to be labeled with words like "proselytize" or "intolerant." Thank you for giving me the gift of eternal life.

Because of that, I realize that the only truth that exists in the world is from God's word. I can always return to that when everything else leaves me empty or unsatisfied. I am glad to say that you can stand before Jesus one day with a heritage of people who will live in eternity with us because you realized that trusting in God is much more simple than some people make it. You were a part of the body of Christ, and you were unselfish with the treasure God entrusted to you.

Please know that I intend to be faithful with the gift that I have. Know that I pass it on as often as I can. I am forever grateful that I get to invest in other people and give them what I have always known....Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

With Love, Your Daughter Kendra

"And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent." John 17:3

Mom, I'm Sorry For...

This is the part of the show where I openly apologize for all of the pain and suffering I gave my parents while I was growing up and assure them that I am getting paid back in full for every minute of it.

Today's installment is brought to us with special thanks to Jonathan....

Mom, I'm sorry that I took the toilet paper and ran it around the rooms in our house. I realize how much of a tedious pain this is to re-roll and how much of a waste it is.

Please rest assured tonight, knowing that I have learned my lesson, and I promise never to do it again.